Wednesday, September 07, 2005

PINOY LESSONS IN MEDICAL TERMS


LOL!!  This was emailed to me by a friend of mine named Julia.  Obviously, she got it from someone who spent his/her residency in PGH.  Unfortunately, only my Filipino friends can enjoy this fully, but I've included some English translations for my other friends too ;)


Sa PGH, may tinatawag na Central Block. Nandoon ang Radiology Department kung saan ginagawa ang mga X-rays, Ultrasound, CT Scan at Radiotherapy. Dito ko naobserbahan ang evolution ng mga pinoy medical terms. May mga pasyente o bantay na aking nasasalubong, ang madalas magtanong ng direksyon. (There is a place named Central Block in the Philippine General Hospital where the Radiology Department is located.  Thus, you can have your X-rays, Ultrasound, CT scan, and Radiotherapy done there.  This is also where you can observe the evolution of Filipino medical terms.)

Mga Versions ng CT Scan: (Ganon na rin yon, no!)

1. "Dok saan po ba ang Siete Scan?"
2. "Doc saan po ba magpapa-CT Skull"
3. "Doc saan po ba CT Scalp"
4. "Doc saan po ang CT Scam?"

* Madalas akong mapagtanungan ng direction papunta sa Cobalt Room.

"Doc saan po ba ang Cobal" Yes, laging walang T,marami na ang ginagamit na term ay Cobal. Saan napunta ang "T". Marmi din kasing nagtatanong, "Doc, saan po ba ang papuntang X-Tray?"

Conclusion: Ang "T" ng Cobalt, ay napunta sa X-Tray. (The T in Cobal migrated to the X-tray)

* 7:00 am. Nagbigay ang kasamahan kong doktor ng instruction sa bantay ng pasyente, "Mister, punta po kayo sa Central Block at magpa-schedule kayo ng X-ray ng pasyente ninyo." (The doc directed the patient to go to the Central block and have the patient scheduled for an X-ray)

3:00 pm. Kadarating lang ng bantay. Nagalit na ang doktor, "Mister, bakit namang napakatagal ninyong bumalik? Pina-schedule ko lang naman ang X-ray ah." Sumagot ang bantay, "Eh kasi po Doc, ang tagal kong naghintay sa gate, haggang sabihin ng guwardiya na sarado daw po ang Central Bank kasi Sabado ngayon."
(Nasa Roxas Blvd ang Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas, at sarado nga naman yon kapag Sabado, hihihihihi) - the guy went to the Central Bank to have the patient scheduled for an x-ray.  Hmmm....
 
Nang mag-rotate ako as intern sa Pediatrics ng PGH, mahal na mahal talaga ng mga nanay ang kanilang mga anak na may sakit. Pilit nilang tinatandaan ang mga gamot at tawag sa sakit ng kanilang anak. (New names for old drugs/conditions that we've never heard before.)

Doktor: "Mrs. ano po ang mga gamot na iniinom ng anak niyo?"
Mrs 1: "Doc phenobarbiedoll po."
Doktor: "Ah baka po phenobarbital." (Gamot sa convulsion ang phenobarbital)

Doktor: "Mrs. ano po ba ang antibiotic na iniinom ng anak ninyo?"
Mrs 2: "Doc metromanilazole po."
Doktor: "Ah baka po metronidazole." (Gamot sa amoeba ang metronidazole)

Ang tawag sa recovery room ng PGH ay PACU (Post-Anesthesia Care
Unit)
Doktor: "Mrs., tapos na po ang operasyong ng anak ninyo, punta po kayo sa PACU.
Mrs 3: "Eh Doc, saan po sa Paco? Sa may simbahan po ba o sa may palengke? (Hmm, this is rather obscure.  Paco is a place.  The patient's relative was asking where to go in Paco, the church or the market?)

Doktor: "Mrs. ano po ba ang sinabi ng dating doktor kung ano daw ang sakit ng inyong anak?"
Mrs 4: "Eh Doc sabi po niya Tragedy of Fallot.
Doktor: "Ah baka po Tetralogy of Fallot (Isang congenital Heart Disease ang Tetralogy of Fallot)

Biglang nagtatarang ang isang nanay at sumigaw.
Mrs. 5: "Scissors! Scissors! Nag-sciscissors ang anak ko, Doc!"
Doktor: "Nurse, diazepam please, nag-seizure ang pasyente!

Doktor: "Mrs. ano daw po ba ang sakit ng anak ninyo?"
Mrs. 6: May ketong daw po.
In-examine ng doktor ang balat ng pasyente. Wala siyang makitang senyales ng ketong. Tumawag pa siya ng isang dermatologist para mag-examine nang husto. Wala talaga.
Doktor: "Mrs. sigurado po ba kayong ketong ang sakit ng bata?"
Mrs 6: "Eh iyon po ang sabi ng doktor niya dati. Mataas daw po ang ketong sa ihi dahil may diabetes."
Doktor: "Ah ketone po yon! (Ang positive ketone sa ihi ay senyales ng kumplikasyon ng diabetes.) - The doc asked the mother what her child was sick of.  She said leprosy (ketong in tagalog).  The doc--and a dermatologist that he called in--couldn't find any signs of leprosy.  Finally, they asked her again, and it turned out that it was DKA.) 

Doktor: (Sa buntis na mrs. na nagle-labor) "Mrs. pumutok na po ba ang panubigan mo?" (Doctor, to a pregnant woman:  Mrs, has your bag of water burst?)
Mrs 7: "Eh Doc, wala naman po akong narinig na pagsabog."
(Hanep!) (Woman:  I didn't hear anything explode, doc.)
   
Ahhhhh...okay...




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December 11, 2006   02:15 AM PST
 
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November 29, 2005   12:58 PM PST
 
pakopya ha.. =)
Saphfire Storm
September 25, 2005   05:30 AM PDT
 
Hey Doctor Potato, just letting you know my journal addy changed. http://www.saphfirerain.blogspot.com.

I still can't get over the fish diving out of the bowl on the side....LOLOLOL
light
September 10, 2005   08:06 PM PDT
 
haha. pero syempre, mga-uneducated kasi karamihan sa mga pasyente don eh..
Dr. Oblivion
September 7, 2005   10:26 PM PDT
 
Hahaha we all have our funny stories. I-share ko lang ito kasi hinding hindi namin makalimutan. One of our patients at UST wanted to know when her labs/ancillary tests are going to be done so she asked us (we were clerks then):

"Dok, kelan niyo po ba ako ipapaWORK OUT?" :)
  

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